boarding the treeship

what is this? i don't get sick. the other day, i woke up in the middle of the night with a sore and dry throat. the logical conclusion would be to blame the giant industrial floor fan i have blowing at me while i sleep. but now i'm logically concluding a much different logical conclusion, my friend. i think i've caught myself one of them there darn colds (or maybe it's allergies?). earlier today, my right inner ear started hurtin' and now i've got a runny left nostril. what the eff! my body can't make up it's mind on which side of itself it wants to be sick. if i had my druthers (and i don't), i'd choose to have neither side o' my body sick. but that should go without saying, since nobody in their right mind (or left. ha!) wants to be sick. by the way, what are druthers? and do i really want them in this context? sniffle sniffle... i sick, feed me warm soup with a side of o.j. and take care of me with plenty of pillows and warm blankets, pweez!