long afloat on shipless oceans i did all my best to smile 'til your singing eyes and fingers drew me loving to your isle and you sang, "sail to me, sail to me, let me enfold you." here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you.
did I dream you dreamed about me? were you hare when I was fox? now my foolish boat is leaning broken lovelorn on your rocks for you sing, "touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow." oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
well I'm as puzzled as the newborn child i'm as riddled as the tide should I stand amid the breakers? or should I lie with death my bride? hear me sing, "swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you. here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you."
i was working at a coffeehouse again and we were auditioning dancers to work at the coffeehouse. i'm not sure why, but we were. and i was there to... judge? i'm not sure of that either, but i was there, sitting at the head of the table. i had the knowledge and confidence of a knowledgeable and confident judge of dancers.
the best part. her.
the. best. part. her. she.
she was the in-between auditioners entertainment. she slowly walked to the middle of the floor and performed the most graceful and elegant dance i'd ever seen. her expression was serious and full of emotion. you could feel the warm energy. like waves or pulses of warm, buzzy, goodness. before you know it, she was done and the next auditioner was up. i only saw her dance once, i knew she'd dance again. and again. and again.
i skipped yoga, because i felt it was okay. i wouldn't feel guilty about missing one day of practice-- seeing as how i've been going twice a day lately. so, instead of grabbing my mat and yogitoes, i grabbed a couple of cameras, a bottle of water and i was out the door. i briskly walked toward the train station, but i was 20-blocks away and only had 10-minutes to catch the next train. missed the first one. i stopped and bought a coffee, sat down and chilled for a bit in the morning sunlight. i checked my email and checked my voicemail.
unbeknownst to me, she called my three times and texted another three times. my phone had been turned off, because i hate when phones go off in the middle of yoga practice. i listened to her messages several times, as i was not quite awake. i tried to make sense of the timeline in which she sent them. apparently, it was throughout the latter half of the day. realizing this, i suddenly felt sorry that i wasn't able to reply sooner. i sat in my thoughts for a moment, but couldn't stay put for long, the next train was due to leave in 30-minutes. barely made it aboard. i had to run for it. literally. it's actually one of my simple pleasures. it's how one should board a train; running after it and hopping aboard just as the train begins to pull away from the platborm.
i called her a couple of times on my run to catch the train. no answer. voicemail. i can't remember what i said. my mind was a whirlwind. i worried that my legs weren't long enough to get to the train on time. i walked light and quickly.
all i could think about was her. i felt uncomfortable. a day earlier, i felt comfortable. i thought we were in a good place. but somehow, i had burdened her with something heavy enough to cause a need for her to contact me throughout the day. a 2.5-hour road track trip with her.
i found myself walking through golden gate park, trying to be lost. lose my mind in the trees. it worked. something about the smell of wilderness. makes me think of childhood. good times. carefree. now, as adults, life weighs down on us, until we need to escape back to the good times. good memories.
i exited the park on the west end. never thought i'd find it. a few times i thought maybe i was being tracked by a mountain lion. absurd right, a mountain lion in golden gate park. maybe. maybe not. homeless people sound like mountain lions inside urban parks.
I went to the Apple Store today with the intention of purchasing one of them there shiny, new iPhone 4s, but I knew, in the back of my head, that there was no way in hell there'd be any left.
As I approached the store, in the middle of the f#cking mall, I could first sense, then see that it was pretty much packed in there. Like sardines.
So, I am without an iPhone 4. I am without any phone, for that matter. My one-year old Blackberry is on it's last legs. Or so I assume, cause it won't turn on! Well, it did, then it didn't again. I'm done with it.
I put my name on the waiting list at the Apple Store. The dude with the iPad, taking names and emails, told me they'll be receiving "shipments of one-hundred, every few days". I asked him how many people are waiting. He said "several hundred". So... I'm waiting.
it was my birthday on sunday. ah, yes, yet another year has passed. happy birthday to me! happy birthday to me!
i organized a birthday bowling party with all of my workmates. white russians were imbibed with irony. balls were bowled with inaccuracy. and tons o'fun was had.
and for this, it was quite a good weekend. one for the history books. aka, the blog.
