Tuesday, August 11, 2009

life without bees

right outside my apartment, about three-feet from my front door there is a very bizarre bush/tree/monster thing that looks like some kind of ground-bound, chlorophyl-filled, octo-flora-pus with equally bizarre blossoms that hang down very low, like five-million tentacles waiting for the perfect opportunity to snatch the cap from my noggin. i do... wear caps, i mean. though, not frequently. i'll pop on a beanie from time to time. and i wear my driver's cap on occasion.

everytime i leave my apartment i can hear the ominous buzzing of the octo-flora-pus's resident swarm of bees getting their "birds and the bees" on, all bee-like and stuff. and this sound... this wicked, crazy-scary buzzing sound unnerves me so much i can't help but remember my most unhappiest of all my unhappy memories; the time my 3rd-grade, lil mexipino boy, bowl cut was targeted by several hostile honeybees, dispatched with royal instructions to trap themselves within the massive mop of hair on my giant jughead and ruin "15-minute mandatory sideyard playtime" in the grandest of grand ways. i never liked going to afterschool daycare. after what would become known as "the day the bees attacked me and it hurt a lot" day, i really didn't like going!

bees scare me. it's a phobia. i do not like them! keep them away from me and someone please remove them from my front door. please please please and thank you.

27 october 2007


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