Fucking Rambo

i woke up at 4:05 this morning because
i forgot to reset my alarm clock
which was still set from the night before.
this didn't bother me so much because
my throat suddenly was very sore.
in my sleepy-headed stupor
i imagined a miniature man
had crawled into my mouth
while i was soundly sleeping and
proceeded to scrape every bit of my throat
with scary-sharp metal objects
of varying degrees of sharpatudiness.
but still was not satisfied until he
jabbed at my throat
with his relatively sized
miniature rambo knife!
you know, the knife from the movie.
yeah, that knife.
i used to have the rambo action figure.
it came with a knife, amongst other weaponry.
i could do a really good rambo voice back then.
he sounded a lot like rocky, but rambo-y-er.
i just tried and i'm still pretty good!
after remembering i live in an icebox
disguised as a small apartment,
i ducked my head under the covers.
i'm hoping this sore throat
isn't an early symptom of something more severe.
i'm refraining from using my heater
until i absolutely need it.
(i am my mother's son, after all)
and now that i've just written that
i realize now i probably need it.
it's already after noon and
i have a few things i need to do today.
i should get out of bed.
throat feels better.
i could go for a good breakfast right now.
eggs. bacon. hash browns. sausage.
the works, you know?
oh, and i need to pick up my badass end tables!
is it cold outside right now?
hmm...